Pickled Thoughts [Rowena]

[Max Kameren]

“Here you are, Stumpy.”

“That’s already getting old, Jack.” Max flexed his newly reformed left hand to test it before reaching out and taking the vial the other Potions Master offered from where he stood next to the bed. It had been two days since his attack, but the pain still lingered everywhere. Lingered wasn’t a strong enough word: everything hurt. It was like echoes of the torture he endured: it was slowly fading, but when his pain potions ran low everything would come back in waves.

He was currently at the peak of one of those waves, making Jackson’s jokes more insufferable than usual. “What’s wrong, can’t handle a gentle… ribbing?” The Potions Master’s smile brightened with his joke and Max groaned.

“Jack, stop. It’ll be funny when it stops hurting.” Max shook his head and threw back the potion. He immediately reached out and took Jackson’s shoulder before he could turn away from the bed. Something wasn’t right. “How did you localize this?”

“According to your instructions, master.” Jackson rolled his eyes at Max’s paranoia, taking the vial from his friend and putting it in a bin on his potions cart. Max had had Jack brewing everything for him in the room, so he could watch him. Somehow the codger was an even more obnoxious patient than he was a colleague, bless him.

“How much wort did you use?”

“A finger’s worth.”

“Not funny. How much?”

Jackson sighed and showed him how he measured; his jovial air finally disappeared as he watched Max blanch. He grimaced apologetically as Max ran his good hand through his hair, green eyes darting back and forth as he tried to figure out what to do. “That was way too much. Fuck, it’s going to numb… way mo…re…” Max’s speech slowed and slurred as the potion took affect and he blinked slowly, putting his face in his hands as the world slowed around him.

When he picked his head back up from his hands it must have been some time later; Jackson was gone, incriminating cart with him. Max was alone in his hospital room for the first time since he’d first woken up. He stared around blankly before he pushed himself up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He looked around, trying to figure out how to pull himself to stand; his right hand was still bandaged and useless, and his left didn’t yet have the strength to pull him up. He was still contemplating his options when the hospital room door swung open.

[Rowena Jones]

Rowena let out a deep breath as she left Milton's office. She'd managed to put off the meeting for a day, but there was only so much she could avoid her boss when she was spending as much time as possible with her boyfriend who just happened to be hospitalised where she worked. And she did still work there, despite her best attempts to resign.

It had been the last thing she wanted to do, but she had not felt able to stay either. Putting others at risk just so she could keep the job that meant the world to her, it just wasn't fair. Milton had at least agreed on that point. After a bit of going back and forth, they'd agreed on an initial 6 month leave period while they waited to see what would happen. He'd tried to offer Paid leave, but Rowena had insisted that he rescind that offer. She didn't need the money, felt bad that she was leaving him on such short notice. In the end they'd agreed to put that money towards further renovations, mainly securing the Catacombs. And Mary Rhind would temporarily replace her as Head. The older Healer was more than capable of dealing with the paperwork and knew all the staff so well that there would be little issue with the transition.

It really was the best outcome considering. Rowena tried to tell herself that it meant she would finally have the time to do the research she had long put off, but there was still a strong twinge of sadness at the thought of not working at Mungos, even temporarily. It had been her second home for a decade, a place she had flourished in. Nevertheless, the last month had been trying. She'd struggled a little after the Morrison incident, found it very difficult after Bryn... and now Max. No, she'd be lying if she said she felt safe here now. Rowena needed the time away.

But right now, she needed to see Max again. She still had to fight the fear of losing him every time they were apart, it would take more than two days to get rid of that anxiety. She pushed the door open, amber gaze zeroing instantly on her rogue boyfriend.

"And just what do you think you're doing Max?" she said, eyes narrowing as she walked over to him. "Bed. Now."

[Max Kameren]

Max managed to rock himself upward onto his feet, stumbling forward and catching himself on the wall in a way that would most definitely hurt later. He stood to his full height for the first time in days, looking around the room woozily. The world was spinning under his feet and he took a breath to try to center himself in it. After a moment his eyes focussed on his goal: the bathroom door.

“And just what do you think you're doing Max?" Suddenly there was a short, very beautiful woman glaring up at him. Who was this? A nurse? An angel? Had he died? "Bed. Now."

It took the attention of his entire body to focus on someone, so Max turned all of himself to look at her. His brow furrowed and he frowned, shaking his head. He pointed with his bad hand at the bathroom door. “I want to look,” he slurred, gesturing with his good hand to his face. There was a mirror in the bathroom. He knew there was something on his face, he could feel it but no one would let him get up and look.

Max pushed himself off the wall, wincing with his bad hand and reaching out to balance himself on Rowena’s shoulder. “Help,” He cocked his head in the direction of the door, pushing off of her with another wince and making it to his destination. The next trial was the doorknob, which he could not figure out how to twist to open. “Help, nurse angel.” He barked, growing frustrated as his hand slipped with its bandages from the doorknob again.

[Rowena Jones]

Max turned to look at her, and she could already see the fight ahead as he furrowed his brow in argument. She prepared to reiterate her previous command, about to threaten to double his bed rest if he didn't lie down right that instant, when his wooziness registered. Rowena frowned. She knew Max's medication was a little different from the norm, but he seemed different compared to the day before. Had someone messed something up? Given him two conflicting potions? 

“I want to look,”

The slurring was a big clue. Rowena resolved to get to the bottom of it, but right now her hands were full making sure Max didn't kill himself as he navigated the room. He pushed himself off the wall, reaching out to balance himself on her shoulder. For someone who was obviously high on medication, he was still being remarkably stubborn. Rowena sighed. She supposed he was going to see at some point. And it wasn't that bad. When she thought of what it could have been... 

“Help, nurse angel.”

Come again? Nurse what? Rowena cocked her head as she looked at Max, a small amused grin spreading across her face. "Max?" she asked, "Do you know who I am?" She opened the door for him, standing close to him in case he lost his balance. She followed him into the room, biting her lip anxiously, unsure what his reaction would be when he saw himself. 

[Max Kameren]

It appeared with a wave of the beautiful woman's hand the knob turned and opened magically and all Max could do was stare; how had she done it so easily? It had been an impossible task for Max to crack a moment earlier, and for her it was nothing. He glanced at her incredulously before he reached for the door. "Thank you angel..."

"Max?"

"That's my name," he slurred in a confused tone that made it unclear if he was making a statement or asking a question. He froze with his bad hand wrapped around the door's edge and looked down at her quizzically, as if he had never seen her before in his life. Including their conversation from a second earlier.

"Do you know who I am?"

The tall wizard leaned in closer to Rowena, taking in her face, with her raven-dark hair and amber eyes. He met her eyes for a moment and a muddled spark of confused recognition ignited. "You're my angel," he said in slurred speech that belied his Scottish heritage, a rhythm his voice only fell into when he was impaired. "I'm dead, that creepy fucker who ate my finger killed me. You're my guardian angel." He shrugged matter-of-factly as he wrenched the door open with his bad hand and stepped inside.

"Fuck me! That's not good!" Max immediately exclaimed, jumping backwards clumsily the second he caught the right side of his face in the mirror; though much of the swelling went down his new scars below his eye were an angry red. Another disrupted his right eyebrow, cutting a thin slash over his brow bone. When he turned his head further he found his mangled ear, the lobe bitten off and entirely torn away.

"A chew toy, a literal chew toy." His shock at the sight of his face seemed to give him a momentary burst of energy, and words flowed quickly and clumsily from his lips. He grimaced in the mirror, his eyes darting to his angel behind him in the mirror. "Not as bad as I thought though. Know what's worse than letting someone look in the mirror? Telling them they can't look in the mirror." He turned around and leaned against the sink, smiling woozily at his angel. "You stay there, though. Too pretty to stand on my chewed-up side."

[Rowena Jones]

Max leaned closer to her and as usual his close proximity made her heart race, chasing away the demons of her life for the moment. But as he gazed at her, there wasn't the usual spark. He recognised something, but not really her. Which was only confirmed by his next words. "You're my angel," Rowena rolled her eyes. Merlin, he was so far gone. A snide evil voice whispered into her mind that she was an angel of death if an angel at all, too surrounded in darkness as she was. She forced it down as with so much else. There was no time for self pity, especially with Max using his injured hand as much as he was.

She narrowed her eyes as she watched him open the door with it, quietly casting a cushioning charm around it to try and minimise the damage. It would feel weird, like invisible padding around it, but with him so far gone, Rowena was sure he'd either not notice or wave it away as some incredible 'angel' magic.

"You're not dead Max..." she noted seconds before he saw his reflection. Rowena winced at his reaction and the feeling of him stepping on her toe as he jumped back. She watched as he turned his head to see the full damage.

"A chew toy, a literal chew toy. Not as bad as I thought though. Know what's worse than letting someone look in the mirror? Telling them they can't look in the mirror."

Rowena struggled to understand everything he said, slurred and accented as it was, but she got the gist and nodded in acknowledgement. She could only imagine what he'd been imagining with no actual idea of what it looked like. Plus she had not felt up to arguing with him today, especially with him being so unpredictable. There'd been plenty of conflict the past few days.

"You stay there, though. Too pretty to stand on my chewed-up side."

She giggled, shaking her head at his reasoning. "I can't spend the rest of my life on your left hand side Max," she quipped, moving closer to him and softly putting her hand on the right hand side, thumb delicately ghosting over the scar. Rowena smiled encouragingly at him.

"Also, I am not an angel. Just your girlfriend. Sorry to disappoint. Can we go back to bed now?" Merlin only knew what trouble he'd get into while he was up and about. She'd feel a lot better once he was safely tucked in again. 

[Max Kameren]

"You stay there, though. Too pretty to stand on my chewed-up side."

"I can't spend the rest of my life on your left hand side Max," she quipped. He stilled as she moved closer to him. His sharp green eyes examined her face and his energy petered out; it took a lot of energy he didn’t have yet to get him into the bathroom and he was feeling it even through his numbness. When he hand rose up to touch his face he unconsciously leaned into it, lightly nudging the inside of her palm with his cheek. This felt familiar, comfortable. They fit together in a way that told him his angel wasn’t a stranger at all.

"Also, I am not an angel. Just your girlfriend. Sorry to disappoint. Can we go back to bed now?"

Max’s eyes narrowed suspiciously and he glanced in the mirror to their side, eyes darting between them. “You’re my girlfriend? ‘m sosorry.” He put a balancing hand on her shoulder once again, faithfully letting her guide him back to his bed. When they got there he more stumbled into it than tried to sit, but the effect was the same so he didn’t notice.

“You’re my girlfriend? I’must be bonkers about you…” Max blinked tiredly, his thumb absent-minded tracing the lump of bandages where his right ring finger used to be. It was a weird sensation, definitely something stranger to get used to than simple pain; he felt like he had all his fingers when he didn’t think about it, then when he looked down the absence was stark.

He took Rowena’s left hand and lined it up with his right, her ring finger standing lonely in the air without his to accompany it. “’S weird, innit? I can’t get used to it.” He let their hands drop an sat back, resting his eyes for a moment with a smile. “Lucky ‘s not the other one though, or wher’d the ring go when I mrry you…”

[Rowena Jones]

“You’re my girlfriend? ‘m sosorry.”

Rowena shook her head, laughing at Max's reaction. "Don't be sorry," she said still giggling, "it's one of the best things to happen to me." She was thankful that he was happy to return to bed, unsure what she would have done if he'd decided on another adventure. She led him back,frowning a little at his collapse. Stubborn man. The bathroom excursion had obviously taken more than he'd been letting on.

You’re my girlfriend? I’must be bonkers about you…”

"I sure hope so," Rowena said, sitting down in the chair by the bed and resting her arms and head on it, watching her boyfriend happily, "I'm pretty mad about you. Even when you're being a stubborn arse and pushing yourself too hard too quick." She kept her gaze on his face, just content to see it animated and alive. He took her hand, rambling about it while she just smiled patiently, looking at their hands. She mused that she should film this, that it could provide hours of amusement later.

"Lucky ‘s not the other one though, or wher’d the ring go when I mrry you…”


Rowena blinked, her amber gaze shooting towards Max, completely blindsided by the direction the conversation had gone. What nonsense was he on about? This was the same man who had made it abundantly clear that they had to take it slow. Talking about marriage after two months, even while high as a kite, was alarming. Where had that train of thought even come from? "Err, i don't think we have to think about that..." Rowena muttered, unable to meet his eyes. "it's only been two months and you like to take things slow" she reminded him.

Deciding theto topic needed changing, she pushed herself up to a more upright position. "Do you need anything? Food? Water?"

[Max Kameren]

"Lucky ‘s not the other one though, or wher’d the ring go when I mrry you…”

"Err, i don't think we have to think about that..." Rowena muttered, unable to meet his eyes. "it's only been two months and you like to take things slow," she reminded him.

“Ugh, no I don’t I hate it.” He grimaced, rubbing his good hand over his face to try to push away the mugginess of fatigue. “I just have to after I almost married Simone and everyone got mad at me…” Max sighed as he started to drift off, but his head snapped back up when Rowena shifted and he opened his eyes.

"Do you need anything? Food? Water?"

Foggy emerald eyes rolled towards the ceiling as he thought about it and he scratched his chin beneath his unkempt beard; several days of no hands to trim or wash it left him looking more unkempt than usual. “My hand hurts. Can I have water?” Max stretched out his right hand palm-up to reveal somehow even with the cushioning spell he’d pulled a stitch in the base of his middle finger. As if on cue droplets began to flow through the space between his fingers, dripping onto the white sheet of the bed.

[Rowena Jones]

“Ugh, no I don’t, I hate it.” Max grimaced as Rowena frowned. That had not been the impression he had given her at all. “I just have to after I almost married Simone and everyone got mad at me…”

There was a strange sort of numbness that settled over Rowena as she processed that particular revelation. Married who now? She would deny it until her last breath but there was a slight twinge of jealousy that spiked through her. She shoved that feeling aside violently even as she racked her brain for any possible comment that would have suggested such an advanced prior commitment. Nothing. She'd talked about her own past relationship, but his past hadn't ever come up. If anything, she'd gotten the impression that Max just didn't do serious relationships.

It had been part of the reason she'd attempted to guard her own heart so well. If he didn't do serious, then it would only be a matter of time before their time together ran out. She hadn't wanted to get too attached. Obviously, she'd failed in that regard, but with circumstances as they were, there hadn't really been the option to stay somewhat neutral. Either she would have had to walk away from it all, or do as she had and let him weave his way into her life and heart.

Knowing now that he'd been prepared to marry someone threw all that into question. Obviously he did do serious. Perhaps more serious than she did. After all, she'd left her last relationship at the mention of getting engaged. Not knowing what to say yet and feeling rather lost and uncomfortable, she fell back to basic care, ignoring the giant elephant in the room for now.

"Do you need anything? Food? Water?"

“My hand hurts. Can I have water?” Max stretched out his right hand palm-up to reveal somehow even with the cushioning spell he’d pulled a stitch in the base of his middle finger. As if on cue droplets began to flow through the space between his fingers, dripping onto the white sheet of the bed and Rowena swore. 

"Max! Why didn't you tell me earlier?!" she said, taking her wand and fixing the tear, annoyed but also a little glad for the distraction. Her mind was still going round in circles, not sure what to do with the newest information it had received. Rowena turned, using the tiny distance to the table by the other wall to give her space to think. She poured Max a glass of water trying to separate her tumultuous emotions. On one hand, it was his prerogative not to tell her. As she kept saying and reminding herself, they'd only been together for a short while. He owed her nothing. But she'd be lying if she said she didn't feel a little hurt too. And she wondered if he would have ever told her if someone hadn't messed up his medication. 

Rowena put the glass on the bedside table before leaning over to help him sit up a little more and make it easier for him to drink. After a critical glance at his hands, she found a straw and held the drink up to him so that he could sip it, deciding his hands had done more than enough for the time being. "So... why did your family get angry at you?" she finally said, curiosity winning out. A small voice told her to leave it be, that if he wanted her to know, he would have told her. But though she couldn't bring herself to ask about the woman in question, she was curious about why his family had had such a negative reaction. They'd seemed nice enough when she'd met them. Surely if this Simone had made him happy... 

[Max Kameren]

In his current state, it didn’t occur to Max that he’d just shared new information. He had no idea that it was upsetting, either to Rowena now or himself later. In the depths of his pain potion he couldn’t remember his feelings after his breakup with Simone Rosier, how embarrassed and hurt he was when he realize he’d been controlled. It changed him, made him more wary of opening up to people until he was the begrudgingly guarded person now hopelessly in love with Rowena. That man was drowned out by pain potion at the moment, but would be kicking himself later.

"Do you need anything? Food? Water?"

“My hand hurts. Can I have water?” The perplexed look on Rowena’s face didn’t register with Max and he stretched his hand out to show her his stitches tearing along his middle finger.

"Max! Why didn't you tell me earlier?!" He watched with quiet interest as she mended his torn stitch, his previous comment entirely forgotten. He hadn’t told her because he hadn’t noticed; the only thing with his immediate attention at the moment was Rowena. She was his bright sun, his attention span followed her orbit. His eyes followed her as she crossed the room and got water, then followed her back.

“I am thirsty, how did you know? Thank you.” He slurred up at her with a smile, trying to grab the glass with both hands. He frowned as she shied away, but his smile returned when she did with a straw. “Thank you,” He grinned sleepily at her as he sipped the water, laying back when he was finished at smiling up at her. “What is your name, girlfriend? I like you.”

"So... why did your family get angry at you?" she finally said, curiosity winning out.

Max’s brow furrowed as he thought about it, trying to catch a reason swimming in the fishbowl of his aura. “My family’s angry at me?” He nodded when the spark of memory came to him and he rubbed his chin beneath his beard. “Oh, right. Simone. She knew how to control my mind.” He shrugged, laying back in the bed and sighing. He was growing bored of the subject.

[Rowena Jones]

“What is your name, girlfriend? I like you.”

It was hard not to smile at the stupid things Max was saying, even if he was slurring out unexpected revelations at the same time. "Rowena. You call me Ro though," she said absentmindedly, as she continued to think about his bombshell.

"So... why did your family get angry at you?" she finally said, curiosity winning out.

Max’s brow furrowed. “My family’s angry at me? Oh, right. Simone. She knew how to control my mind.” He shrugged, laying back in the bed and sighing. It was Rowena's turn to frown now, her eyebrows drawing together as she thought. She really should have known better than to ask him while he was in this state but damnit, how could she not ask? But mind control? Did he mean she had used her own powers to control him? Or...? The witch wracked her brain, searching through her memories until she found something, anything that might help her make sense of what Max was saying.

If I don't take precautions I kind of lose myself in the other person, and it never ends well.

Lose himself? Rowena bit her lip, remembering their first kiss and that overwhelming flood of emotions he had shared accidentally. She could see how it would be easy to lose oneself in that, but from there to mind control? And surely if anyone, it would be Max doing the controlling. A small growl of frustration escaped her. The problem was, despite her attempts to do so, understanding Max's empathy was a life's work. She had ideas, had a few glimpses and experiences with it, but it was like touching the surface of an ocean. She had no idea what was underneath, what hid in those dark murky depths. But there was no point in continuing the conversation now. Max was drifting in and out of almost sleep, his attention span was seconds long. There would be no answers now. 

It felt like she was getting too good at shoving away things these days, everything put into tightly sealed boxes to be examined at a later date, if at all. Rowena wondered at what point would it be too much, when would she burst with all the pent up emotion, what would it do to her when she eventually had to face it all? She shoved those thoughts away too, forcing a smile to her lips. 

"So I've left Mungos." she said. She'd probably have to tell him again, but it was the only slightly inane conversation she could think of. "And I went to see Alex yesterday. That was interesting... Oh, and I have an appointment with the birth registry people tomorrow," she rambled, before grinning at him, "Not everyone gets to lie down and relax all day."

[Max Kameren]

Max laid back on the bed and took a deep breath, his eyelids heavy. The medication had the alternative side affect of making him extremely drowsy, and without the objective and shock of wanting to see his scarred face he was exhausted. He gave in and let them close, unconsciously reaching out with his good hand and entwining his long fingers with hers.

"So I've left Mungos." she said. He picked his head up and looked around in confusion: where were they then? But Rowena barreled onwards before he could ask and he listened. "And I went to see Alex yesterday. That was interesting... Oh, and I have an appointment with the birth registry people tomorrow," she rambled, before grinning at him.

“That’s a lot of stuff…” He murmured, overwhelmed just by her list, let alone the work that went into it. Max himself was used to healing, but it had never occurred to him the sheer amount of energy it took to be the patient. He’d fought bed rest at first, but at this point healing up Max had never been so tired.

"Not everyone gets to lie down and relax all day."

A slow smile rose in his face as Max pushed himself up on his elbows. He scrambled to the far side of his hospital bed and turned on his side to make room. “You can if you want to. I’ll be good! Hands to myself, promise.”

[Rowena Jones]

A slow smile rose in his face as Max pushed himself up on his elbows. He scrambled to the far side of his hospital bed and turned on his side to make room. “You can if you want to. I’ll be good! Hands to myself, promise.”

Rowena couldn't help the laugh that escaped her at Max's eagerness. It was flattering she supposed, that even this drugged up and sleepy, her boyfriend wanted to get into bed with her. She smirked. "Five minutes. I have to go meet with my Adoption Agency in," she checked her watch, "one hour. I'll be back as soon as that's done though." And as soon as she'd found Jackson and discovered what exactly had gone wrong with Max's medication.

She lay down in the bed, facing Max, her amber gaze raking over his face and smiling softly. They were definitely going to have talk about the secrets he'd let slip here, and she wasn't entirely sure that conversation was going to go as smoothly as their last confession. But for five minutes, her boyfriend was high and relaxed and happy despite all the trauma they'd been through. She'd enjoy that moment while she could. Merlin knew she needed it too.

"I'm glad you're doing better," she said quietly, "I'd really like it if you didn't scare me again like that."

[Max Kameren]

Rowena joined Max in his hospital bed and he smiled, cuddling into her warmth and being careful of his bad hand as they fit together. He soaked up her warmth and it occurred to him why it was so difficult to fall asleep at the hospital without sedatives: in the last two months he’d grown used to this. He loved the shape of her, her scent, the feeling of her aura. Holding her was like being home.

"I'm glad you're doing better," she said quietly, "I'd really like it if you didn't scare me again like that."

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to scare you.” Max mumbled. He took a deep tired breath, lightly kissing the crown of her head before his exhaustion and inebriated state lulled him away. “I love you.” He nuzzled into her head, and with another deep labored sigh he slept.