Death Wish [Alex]

[Max Kameren]

“Oi, Max!”

It took less than a second from Max emerging from the staircase into the Ministry’s Department of Magical Law Enforcement. His head snapped up from his notebook, his green eyes immediately meeting Auror Christians with a smile. Though it had been nearly two decades since his father left the Ministry, the auror department still felt like a type of home to Max; many of the men and women who worked here formed a makeshift family with the Kamerens, coming to family functions and sharing in their personal wins and losses.

“Christians! How’s Cain?” Max smiled, shaking the auror’s hand and suppressing a laugh as Christians’ smile faltered. It wasn’t an accident; Max had moonlighted as a lie-detector in interrogations in the past, and knew a thing or two about Christians’ head-to-heads with his late uncle.

“Why doe everyone ask me that like he’s my partner?!” Christians groaned, throwing his head back in defeat.

Max laughed. “Sorry mate, couldn’t resist. Is Alex around?”

“’Course, in his office.” Christians gestured in the direction of the Head Auror and clapped Max on the shoulder before heading off in his own direction.

There were a few other instances of warm greetings followed by small-talk on Max’s route a few doors down to Alex’s office. The impromptu extended-family reunion took several minutes, making Max socially exhausted by the time he made it to Alex’s door. Thank Merlin at least Head Auror Kameren was less of a talker.

Max knocked lightly, turning the handle and gently opening the door to meet Alex’s eyes with a smile. “Got a minute?”

[Alecsander]

It had been slightly more than a week since the Head Auror had reassigned the junior Aurors and sent their seniors home. He was much calmer now as he listened to Potter and Franks apologize to each other and shake hands. He still fixed them with a steely look. 

"Thank you two for coming in today. I hope you can move past your differences and learn to work as a team. I cannot afford to have Aurors at each others throats, especially with the events of a few days ago." the two shared a guilty look. The attack on the minister and his family was brutal, the aurors saw it as a black mark against them.

"In order to facillitate this, Potter, Franks, meet your new partner." now they were horrified, Potter tried to protest, but Alex just kept talking over him, "you will do everything together. I don't want to see you apart for even a moment." there was a knock on the door, Alex sat back and waved to the door, "Dismissed."

He looked up and smiled for the first time since the aurors had entered the room when he saw his visitor. Potter and Franks brushed past the visiter silently. 

"Max! Come in!" Alex waved at the door again, shutting it. 

[Max Kameren]

"Max! Come in!" Alex waved at the door again, shutting it. 

The healer’s emerald eyes surveyed the aurors passing by him with interest, barely surprising an amused smirk when he felt their displeasure. When the door closed behind him he chuckled, gesturing to the storm cloud of auras that just passed. “Did you make them hug it out? They’re thrilled with your assignment, whatever it was.”

Max took a seat and chuckled, smiling crookedly. The same way his dad had nearly twenty years ago, in this same office. “I have kind of an odd question for you.” Max wrung his hands, unsure how to put into words what he wanted to ask of his uncle. “I’m sure you remember dad trained me and Eden how to duel. He started with Violet, and after he passed I took over for him. Now that Evie’s got a wand I’m sure she’ll join us next summer too.” Max waved the thought away for its irrelevance to his point. He was meandering around what he wanted to ask. “Which is fine, I’m good with dueling. After the Morrison attack the other day though, I’m figuring out I’m good at dueling. Not fighting. Once the rules go out the window I’m not aggressive enough.”

It was something Curse had always admonished him for in their sessions: Max always thought like a healer. Even in a threatening situation Max was never ruthless. He always went for the submission, not the kill. Always opted for defense rather than pushing for first strike. In competitive dueling, this was an effective strategy. In an actual war this could get him killed.

“I need to practice, I want to be ready.” I want to be ready for the Watch was what Max meant, but he didn’t want to put it into such frank words. When the time came he would step up. The Demon Wars were long ago, an entire generation had grown since then. This war would fall on their shoulders, and Max could see the signs coming. “I need to practice with someone who won’t let up on me, but also with enough experience that you won’t kill me. Eden’s the former, but I don’t know if I trust her with the latter.” Max smirked, arching a brow at his uncle from across the desk. “Which leaves me with one option. Will you help me?”

[Alecsander]

“Did you make them hug it out? They’re thrilled with your assignment, whatever it was.”

Alex leaned back, relaxing into his chair now that the two aurors were gone. "Sort of. I'm forcing them to be partners until they're done with their little snit." he eyed his nephew. Max didn't commonly come to the auror offices. "What do you need, Max?"

“I have kind of an odd question for you. [...] Which is fine, I’m good with dueling. After the Morrison attack the other day though, I’m figuring out I’m good at dueling. Not fighting. Once the rules go out the window I’m not aggressive enough.”

“I need to practice, I want to be ready.”

I want to join the Watch. Alex was not an Empath, and he didn't use legimency on his nephew, but he could practically hear the words spoken. He'd known this would come, especially with the current tensions. His personal feelings on his nephew putting himself in danger aside, he knew, as he'd told Bodi, that they needed everyone. And family most of all. "I'm calling the Black Watch to arms." was what he said. He knew Max would be unable to avoid reading the mixed feelings that created in him. 

“I need to practice with someone who won’t let up on me, but also with enough experience that you won’t kill me. Eden’s the former, but I don’t know if I trust her with the latter.” Max smirked, arching a brow at his uncle from across the desk. “Which leaves me with one option. Will you help me?”

Alex leaned forward, fixing his green eyes on Max's. "Yes. Can you start immediately?"

[Max Kameren]

“Which leaves me with one option. Will you help me?”

Alex leaned forward, fixing his green eyes on Max's. "Yes. Can you start immediately?"

“I - ah, no actually.” Max faltered, his green eyes darting down to his wristwatch. “This is my lunch break. I’m on-shift five more hours, need to brew for Spell Damage. Tonight? The Dragons, or would you prefer somewhere else? I don’t know how rough they let you duel at the Dragons.” Max’s brow furrowed as he thought about it. He was sure Alex knew somewhere they could practice; he and Curse had had to work somewhere, after all. “Send me a patronus on where to go, I’ll be ready at seven.”

.. .. .. .. ..

Somehow this afternoon felt like a century ago, Max mused as he threw off his Mungo’s robes and apparated to Alex’s desired destination. It was strange, how sometimes revelations could shift time to appear differently. New information had moved mountains in Max’s mind this afternoon. It most definitely shifted how he thought about Alex Kameren, at least.

When he appeared at the specified destination Max looked around, not finding the looming figure of his uncle anywhere in sight. He took out his wand and turned it in his hands, appearing to inspect it but really only looking past it. He could barely concentrate.

How had he missed this? Every now and then Max would catch low points in Alex’s aura; a soft, slow hum of loss and loneliness that harmonized with the rest of his aura. After he’d caught it a few times Max had simply chalked it up to the War and the Flux, never bothering to look further into his notoriously closed-lipped relative’s pain. Alex deserved privacy in his sorrow, he figured. But this? This wasn’t just about Alex.

Recognition didn’t immediately dawn on him when the man himself appeared before him. His ears didn’t quite register the words coming out of the other man’s mouth, and for a moment he’d forgotten why they were here. He was too distracted to push it aside for later. He needed to know now.

“Alex,” Max glanced up from his wand in his hands, meeting his identical emerald gaze questioningly. “I had a bit of an odd conversation with Elle today…” The usual jovial tone he had with his uncle was gone, replaced with a soft sort of disappointment. This hurt, somehow more than Max thought it would. He was this kid. He’d lived this story, though his went very differently. “Who’s James MacDougal?”

[Alecsander]

“Alex,” Max glanced up from his wand in his hands, meeting his identical emerald gaze questioningly. “I had a bit of an odd conversation with Elle today…” The usual jovial tone he had with his uncle was gone, replaced with a soft sort of disappointment. This hurt, somehow more than Max thought it would. He was this kid. He’d lived this story, though his went very differently. “Who’s James MacDougal?”

The question hit Alex like a wall. Of course Elle would talk to Max. That old familiar feeling of pain and frustration hit with the mention of his son's name. The son he had only met in person two days ago. Not that he'd wanted that. Upon learning of the boy there had been some pretty fiery clashes with Morag over the issue of his parentage. And the rights he had as father. Then too, came the newer raw pain of his fight with Elle, where she accused him of not caring for the boy and of not trusting her to raise Jamie with him in alternating turns. It had gotten a bit circular.

Alex drew Max into a sheltered alcove. Caution drove him, with the state of things he did not want this information spreading. He feared what had happened to Max would happen to Jamie. "He is my son," he said quietly, not looking away from his nephew's piercing gaze. "His mother has...reasons. Ones I don't fully agree with." and ones she had screamed at him at the top of her lungs not too long after Max had left that afternoon. Some of her arguments were becoming stronger wjth ever moment he spent studying the Morrison case. He wanted to protect him. Wanted to keep him close. At the same time he
wanted Jamie far away from the Kameren name. It was conflicting.

[Max Kameren]

The wave of melancholy that came over Alex at the mention of MacDougal was painfully familiar to Max. The difference was that this time it was distinct; it wasn't hidden behind another subject, or an errant musing he only caught for a moment in the undercurrent of his uncle's aura. It was clearer to him now: this was longing. A slow, constant mourning for a missing relationship in his life. Max understood it. He'd experienced it.

As he followed Alex into a more private space, he caught something else: fear. The deeper he could see into Alex's feelings about this subject, the more conflicted he was about it. If he cared this deeply for the boy, why had he never told them? How had they never met him?

"He is my son," he said quietly, not looking away from his nephew's piercing gaze. "His mother has...reasons. Ones I don't fully agree with."

Max nodded slightly, still a bit lost in the shock. He wasn't mad at Alex at all; he understood the difficulty of the situation. If both parents weren't cooperating fully and amicably, it was nearly impossible for nobody to come out of it hurting in some way. It was just a shame Jamie couldn't feel the love Max felt in Alex now.

"I just..." Max shrugged, meeting his uncle's gaze in disappointment. "Why didn't you tell us? Did you think we wouldn't get it?" The operative we in this statement referred to Max and Curse specifically, they both knew. The half-blood Kamerens. The illegitimate Kamerens. He clapped Alex on the shoulder in an attempt to be comforting without being too intimate in a way that would make Alex close up. "You didn't have to do this alone." He half-smiled and deflected his gaze, now thoroughly uncomfortable with the sentimentality of the conversation.

"So..." Max stepped out of the alcove, gesturing his head down the way towards the dueling pitch. "Are we going to kick the shit out of each other on this dueling pitch, or what?"

[Alecsander]

]Max nodded slightly, still a bit lost in the shock. He wasn't mad at Alex at all; he understood the difficulty of the situation. If both parents weren't cooperating fully and amicably, it was nearly impossible for nobody to come out of it hurting in some way. It was just a shame Jamie couldn't feel the love Max felt in Alex now.

"I just..." Max shrugged, meeting his uncle's gaze in disappointment. "Why didn't you tell us? Did you think we wouldn't get it?" The operative we in this statement referred to Max and Curse specifically, they both knew. The half-blood Kamerens. The illegitimate Kamerens. He clapped Alex on the shoulder in an attempt to be comforting without being too intimate in a way that would make Alex close up. "You didn't have to do this alone."

"I had never met him." Alex struggled. Trying not to bad-mouth the mother of his child, but frustration still leaked through. He was relieved not to have Max yell at him too. He was feeling raw after the last few days, and he'd yet to actually talk to Jamie. He was trying to give him space to think things through. Though clearly the boy had already confronted his mother. He finally finished his thought. "Being a Kameren, its dangerous. The more people who know..." And how could he admit that he knew of, but had never met his own child? Curse had been in extremely dark places before Max had appeared. He'd forced himself to get better, to actually heal, so he could be there for his son. As in many aspects of his life, Curse was an intimidating example to follow. Not that Alex had any illusions about how easy life had been for his brother and his family. But still.

"So..." Max stepped out of the alcove, gesturing his head down the way towards the dueling pitch. "Are we going to kick the shit out of each other on this dueling pitch, or what?"

Alex followed Max from the alcove, feeling a little lighter despite his still conflicting feelings. "No." He said, leading the way to the second firing range. On the first, you could either face off another duelist for points, or play alone against the targets that required certain spells. In the second, restricted to law enforcement, the targets fired back with varying levels of difficulty that could be set.

[Max Kameren]

"I had never met him." Alex struggled. Max nodded, just trying to listen. He got the distinct reason several people had been telling Alex what he should do since his secret came out, but Max didn’t want to be another. He just wished he’d told them, even without getting to meet him. Especially without getting to meet him, this must have been a heavy secret to keep. He could have shared that burden, even if it was just in search of someone to vent to when things got heated. "Being a Kameren, its dangerous. The more people who know..."

Max couldn’t help a bark of a laugh escaping him. The Kamerens were dangerous, to put it very lightly. “You’re right Alex, we are dangerous. But you know what? All the shit we’ve been through, to me: it was worth it. I’ve never for a second regretted meeting dad. Being a Kameren.” He shrugged, a small smile rising in his face. As odd and dysfunctional as they were, Max was incredibly proud of his family. There wasn’t anything he would trade for getting to grow up with Curse and Alex in his life.

"Can I tell you something, as someone else’s ‘Jamie’?” Max smiled lightly, leaning against the wall of the alcove to examine his uncle. "It’s good you reached out. It’s not up to his mum, and it’s not up to you. How old is he? Fifteen?” He shrugged. “He’s old enough that it should be his decision. It's his life, he should be able to decide who's in it. If my mum had had her way I wouldn't have seen you all again after the War, and that would have been a mistake.”

"So..." Max stepped out of the alcove, gesturing his head down the way towards the dueling pitch. "Are we going to kick the shit out of each other on this dueling pitch, or what?"

Alex followed Max from the alcove, feeling a little lighter despite his still conflicting feelings. "No."

“Oh.” Max was perplexed for a moment until it suddenly dawned on him. Oh right, they couldn’t duel each other. Max nearly forgot about the Kameren Blood Curses; in his twenty-seven years they’d only been relevant in play fighting and sister-scratches. If Max and Alex went at each other it would likely end badly.

Alex instead led him to a different part of the range Max hadn’t seen before. The wizards were presented with an alternative pitch with different targets, ones Max hadn’t seen before. He surveyed the pitch with crossed arms, arching a questioning brow at Alex. “What am I looking at here?”

[Alecsander]

"Can I tell you something, as someone else’s ‘Jamie’?” Max smiled lightly, leaning against the wall of the alcove to examine his uncle. "It’s good you reached out. It’s not up to his mum, and it’s not up to you. How old is he? Fifteen?” He shrugged. “He’s old enough that it should be his decision. It's his life, he should be able to decide who's in it. If my mum had had her way I wouldn't have seen you all again after the War, and that would have been a mistake.

Alex actually laughed a little. "What I actually did was run him over and break his arm." not exactly reaching out. He could have tried harder to get around Morag, but what kind of lesson was that for a kid, to have,one parent sneak around the back of the other? Particularly since Morag had never told Jamie who his father was, and had taken to setting spell traps against him. Morag was,extremely protective of her son.

“What am I looking at here?”

Alex was poking at a glowing console, the colors changing as he programmed it. "We'll duel later. What you're going to start with is this." he indicated the range, targets moving into place. "Like the other range, you need to use the right spells for each target. Unlike the other range, these targets fire back. I've set it to randomize at the lowest level for you, but be careful. Do not underesti.ate this." there were protections in place of course, but without real threat the,room lost its,purpose. A light flashed red, and Alex stood back behind a light blue shield. "Go." the light flashed rapidly yellow then green.

[Max Kameren]

Alex was poking at a glowing console, the colors changing as he programmed it. "We'll duel later. What you're going to start with is this."

Max took a step forward warily, examining the targets as they shifted into place. They were similar to the ones at the regular range, but with strange appendages on the sides Max didn’t recognize. It was somewhat disappointing; Max didn’t need target practice from an immovable object, he wanted to practice with someone actively working against him.

"Like the other range, you need to use the right spells for each target. Unlike the other range, these targets fire back. I've set it to randomize at the lowest level for you, but be careful. Do not underestimate this." Oh, that was a bit different then. As Alex explained the targets shifted and Max started. His green eyes followed the shifting movements closely; he put his wand away and prepared himself for wandless magic.

"Go." the light flashed rapidly yellow then green.

“Fuck.” Max cursed under his breath, getting ready in a defensive position. His sharp emerald eyes darted back and forth with the targets, pivoting to try to not have his back to any one at a time. Max was flying blind in this scenario; usually in a duel he can feel the aura of his adversary, but the targets provided him with nothing.

A split second later a target in his peripheral ignited a stunning spell and fired. Max sidestepped it and parried with the Stupefy it asked of him. With his activation the targets whirred into faster action, circling Max and firing at irregular intervals. He was doing fairly well, he figured; save for a few close calls and near-hits, Max was able to parry fairly well. His wandless magic made it easier; he had the movement to use two hands if he needed, making the spell stronger and more accurate.

Then a target lit up with a concerning spell for Max, and he stalled: the blasting curse, Confringo. Max was a healer, he knew the damage that spell could cause. From a certain distance it was fatal. His split second of hesitation showed and he missed the target, his curse noticeably weaker than the others he cast with more confidence. He shook it off and continued, but his rhythm was off now; he missed another target, and though he could dodge or bat down most of the onslaught he had to revert to Protego to shield himself from a few others.

Eventually the machine slowed to a stop and Max looked up at Alex from the controls, shrugging with glowing-blue hands. Max was disappointed with his performance, but he didn’t know what Alex was expecting of him. “How’d it go? Should we try medium?”

[Alecsander]

“How’d it go? Should we try medium?”

"Max, I said I set it at the lowest level." What he hadn't said was that there were a large range of levels. "'Medium' would kill you." He had been watching Max's progress with a keen eye. He was impressed his nephew had "survived" as long as he had, but there was a lot to work on.

"If you hesitate you will die." Definitely on the battle field. Still a distinct possibility at this range. Only a select few had accesses for extremely good reasons. People had died here. He was not intending on Max becoming one of them. Alex raised his glowing hands, resetting the field. He knew Max was a healer, it was hard to use deadly spells when your instincts were completely opposite, but Max had requested this. And Alex was determined to give no quarter.

"Again." The lights flashed, redyellowGREEN!!

[Max Kameren]

"If you hesitate you will die."

“I know, sorry.” Max nodded his head, flexing his glowing hands. He sighed, steadying his mind and preparing for the next round.

Get it together, Max. They’re just targets. Just targets… But they weren’t just targets. In a battle, these moving contraptions would be people. People Max could feel; their rage, their aggression, but also their fear. Their desperation. Everyone who fought in a war thought they were on the righteous side, after all; these people would be fighting to protect themselves and their loved ones just like Max. And Max could feel it, feel their fear of failure. Feel their life slip away if they hesitated. Just like him.

"Again." The lights flashed, redyellowGREEN!!

This time the targets didn’t wait to circle him. They attacked immediately, firing two spells at once at him on either side. Max scrambled out of the way just in time but not gracefully. He stumbled as he turned and fired the required spell at each target: Expelliarmus on the left, Confringo on the right. He set his jaw as the right target shuddered with his hit, continuing the exercise with more confidence. He couldn’t have that inner debate here. It was something he needed to come to terms with on his own.

The rest of the exercise went fairly well. Max hit each target and for the most part was able to dodge or bat down spells, only shielding once. The machine made him wonder how other aurors got by without wandless or wordless magic; even with his two-handed spell casting abilities he was barely keeping up. With each barrage Max lost a little energy and fell a little further behind.

The progress he made in the second round ended with a swift downturn. Max finally fell too far behind, holding two targets at bay while the third shifted behind him and fired an Expulso directly at his back. The force pushed him forward onto the ground and knocked the wind out of him. He reacted quickly in defense, rolling over to shoot the required Reducto back at it. With his attention divided one of the other targets struck with an Expelliarmus, battering him in the shoulder in lieu of a wand. He cursed, firing at one last target before the machines finally rolled into a halt. Max stayed on his back, trying to catch his breath.

“Fuck… this is the lowest setting? Does the highest just reincarnate Voldemort for a one-on-one practice?” Max cringed as he pushed himself up on his elbows, arching a brow up at his uncle. “What am I doing wrong?”

[Alecsander]

“Fuck… this is the lowest setting? Does the highest just reincarnate Voldemort for a one-on-one practice?” Max cringed as he pushed himself up on his elbows, arching a brow up at his uncle. “What am I doing wrong?”

He laughed, leaning down and offering Max a hand to his feet. "You're just not used to actual fighting. Formal duels are very different from trying to stay alive in a real battle." Alex reset the machine to the starting position, the targets flying back to the positions they'd been in when the Kamerens had entered the pitch.

"Relax, don't over think things." Alex paused, thinking. "And don't rely on your empathy. You might end up overwhelmed, or worse. Someone could even use it against you." If a crowded room was rough on his nephew, what about a crowded battlefield? If he had had empathy at Innvar, would the outcome have been different? So much desperation, so much pain, hate, and determination. The fury of Curse's anger would have washed Max away, most likely. He was glad to see his brother come through that fight in one piece.

[Max Kameren]

"Relax, don't over think things." Max gratefully took Alex's offered hand up, groaning as he stretched his bruised shoulder. "And don't rely on your empathy. You might end up overwhelmed, or worse. Someone could even use it against you."

"Sounds great Alex, when you figure out how to switch off your sense of smell let me know." Max's comeback came out as easily as breathing; he was too familiar with the situation of people telling him what he needed to do with his sixth sense. He wasn't sure how much Alex really knew about the day-to-day of Max's empathy. As far as Max knew Curse had only relied on Alex's help when Max was in dire need: research, crises, the odd intervention if he needed it. His empathy was more an affliction than a power; it didn't pop up when he needed it, it wasn't a skill he called upon. It was the landscape of his mind, a forced perspective he had to live in. It wasn't that simple to ignore.

Max paused when he felt his uncle's aura turn and he turned to him with a questioning look. "Alex, stop. I know what you're doing. Stop picturing me as a scared 10-year-old. I can do this." Working out the pain from his injuries Max straightened, standing taller than him as if to prove his point. He was ready to try again. Ready or not, it was impossible to accuse Max of not getting back up when he's knocked down. This was something he wanted; he was willing to bleed for it. "What's next? How do I keep training outside the Dragons?"