Poorly written notes (Alex)

[Alecsander]

Alex very carefully poured himself another scotch. The bottle was looking dangerously empty as he leaned back, downing the whisky with the practiced ease of the very drunk. He'd just strengthened his wards and the Estates old ones, and now... He had the day off tomorrow and he needed to deal with current events. Failing to protect Max, and the secrets that had come out--Jamie. In trying to do his best he had.. He'd lost Elle. Just when he'd thought he might have done it right, when he thought-- Alex poured another glass.

Suddenly lights were flashing, the dogs started barking outside and tore off, down the long drive. Alex stood, wand at the ready. Some instinct told him not to apparate in his current condition and he made it to the door when he saw her.

She was unmistakable, even in this low light, marching determinedly towards him, he could almost see the expression on her face just from the way she walked, and it wasn't pleasant. The dogs turned, gravel spraying as they made tight turns and gathered around her, barking with excitement. They knew her, knew the woman who had come to the Estate several times! She was a friend!

Alex sighed, leaning against the door frame for support and lowering the wand halfway. She looked extremely pissed as she came into the light pooling in the dooryard. He wasn't sure she wouldn't try to hex him. He hadn't thought the letter he'd sent would have set her off. He said nothing, only watching her cautiously. He was extremely drunk. He had hoped to avoid anyone seeing him in this condition.

[Elle Callahan]

Normally the sight of dogs running towards her, tails wagging would cheer Elle up. Normally she wouldn't be able to resist their jumping and barking. She would stop to pet them all and take comfort from them. Not today. Today they were in her way. She needed to see Alex before she lost her nerve. It was high time they had a bloody talk. They were either going to work this shit out or end it once and for all. She was tired of being on an emotional see saw with him. She wanted off the damn ride.

Elle paused briefly as the dogs swarmed her. Elle patted each once on the head and told them not now before pushing past them and up the stairs. He was watching her. The smug bastard was leaning against the door jam waiting for her to come to him. He looked so calm and casual leaning there. Elle quickly strode up the steps her arms swinging wildly as she rushed. She skidded to a stop in front of him and slammed the little card onto his chest.

"You fucking coward. Couldn't say it to my face. Hell you couldn't even sign your name. Ashamed of me? Ashamed of the little money grabbing whore half your age? Can you really love a child" Elle snarled at him as she took her hand from his chest. The words his older woman had said to her running through her head.

[Alecsander]

"You fucking coward. Couldn't say it to my face. Hell you couldn't even sign your name. Ashamed of me? Ashamed of the little money grabbing whore half your age? Can you really love a child"

The liquor haze cleared rapidly as her words sunk in. He fumbled at the card, finally holding it up to the light. To my love. Confusion warred with aggravation on his face. Is that really how she thought of him? That he could so lowly of her? And what was this? Alex tried to stand but wavered a bit on his feet and found himself leaning against the door frame again.

"iI-...What?" He reread the note again. Three words. Who wrote it? "Never," he met her eyes with determination driven by the large amount of whisky he had been consuming. "I am never ashamed of you, how could I be?" She was pretty much perfect, himself however.. sometimes he wondered what he was doing, what she saw in him.

[Elle Callahan]

The man moved like he was in a pool of jello. His movements were heavy and slow. Elle frowned at him, watching as he fumbled with the card. Was he nervous? What did he have to be nervous about? Why was he blocking the door? Did he not want her inside? Was he hiding something? Was there another woman in there? Had he not meant to send those flowers to her? He looked confused.

iI-...What?" He reread the note again. Three words. Who wrote it? "Never," he met her eyes with determination driven by the large amount of whisky he had been consuming. "I am never ashamed of you, how could I be?"

Elle ignored the questions. There were many things he could be ashamed of. Her age for one. After the Flux he was 16 years older than her. She was also was an ill tempered harpy with a sharp tongue. She was dirt poor and worked crazy hours.

"If you're not ashamed why not sign your name. Let me know it was you who sent the gifts. Afraid to let the whole hospital know you're sending me gifts? Why are you afraid Alex? Think people will judge you because I look half your age? I'll take an aging potion if it makes you feel better. Match the age on my magical identification." Elle said pulling out her wand. She really didn't care what she looked like. Elle pointed it at her curls and mutter a spell that would put gray streaks in it.

[Alecsander]

"If you're not ashamed why not sign your name. Let me know it was you who sent the gifts. Afraid to let the whole hospital know you're sending me gifts? Why are you afraid Alex? Think people will judge you because I look half your age? I'll take an aging potion if it makes you feel better. Match the age on my magical identification." Elle said pulling out her wand. She really didn't care what she looked like. Elle pointed it at her curls and mutter a spell that would put gray streaks in it.

Alex's mouth gaped open as he finally found his balance. Gifts? What was she rambling about? He reached out to grab her wrist before she cast the spell, but was too late. He held her gently, looking into her eyes. "I am not, I don't care how old you look, I know who you are and thats who I love." he raised his other hand to lightly trace her curls.

His eyes hardened as the rest of her outburst registered. "I sent you a letter..." he crushed the notecard unconciously, "but not this. I haven't sent you any gifts Elle." he released her and headed back towards the library, he needed another drink. He conjured another glass and offered some to Elle before downing his own quickly.

[Elle Callahan]

Satisfaction glittered in Elle's eyes as she felt her hair lighten. The shock on his face was worth the damage to her hair. He looked like a fish out of water, gasping for air. If she wasn't so mad she would have thought he looked cute with his mouth open. Elle raised an eyebrow as he held onto her wrist. She didn't pull away though, as she was caught by his gaze.

"I am not, I don't care how old you look, I know who you are and thats who I love." he raised his other hand to lightly trace her curls.

Love. He loved her. Elle didn't pull away. She didn't do anything. She wasn't even sure she breathed. She just stared at Alex as she tried to gage the truth of his words. He loved her. The quite assiduity in his voice and the steady clear gaze convinced her. She could see it in his eyes. He actually loved her. His hand was gentle in her curls and she leaned her head against his warm hand. Part of her wanted to stay there for ever and another part wanted to run. She wasn't sure how she felt about him. She really did care. she might even love him but things were such a mess. Elle opened her mouth to speak but closed it quickly as his eyes changed and she froze again, a little fission of fear dancing up her spine as his eyes went brutally cold.

"I sent you a letter..." he crushed the notecard unconciously, "but not this. I haven't sent you any gifts Elle."

It was scary how quickly he changed from professing love to being cold. Elle frowned, confused as he walked away from her. If he didn't send the gifts then who the hell did? Elle followed him down the hall to the library. She wanted to swat the glass out of his hand. Now was not the time to get even drunker.

"I didn't get any letter. Just the card.If you didn't send the note then who the hell did? Because I sure in hell haven't been dating anyone but you." Elle said taking the glass from him.

"So you didn't send the chocolates, the flowers, the herbs, jars nothing?" Elle said fear causing her to shiver. Who in bloody hell sent her those things?

"I've been getting little gifts since the ball. I assumed they were from you." Elle put her wand away and ran a hand through her curls in frustration. Maybe all those times she thought she was being watched she hadn't been imagining it. Was someone watching her? Why didn't they just come forward?

"When did you send the letter?" Elle asked confused. Had it gotten lost in the mail? Had it been taken? Why hasn't her admirer come forward? lay claim to any of this.

[Alecsander]

"I didn't get any letter. Just the card.If you didn't send the note then who the hell did? Because I sure in hell haven't been dating anyone but you." Elle said taking the glass from him. "So you didn't send the chocolates, the flowers, the herbs, jars nothing?"

He felt an icy chill shoot up his spine at her words, in counterpoint to the fire of the liquor. He probably shouldn't drink any more, her words were serious--so many gifts, and notes, and she'd never said a thing. From a secret admirer? He remembered the note he'd dropped crumpled on the steps, someone obsessed. She shivered and he wanted to reach out to her, to hold her, but was unsure of his welcome. Instead he picked up an old blanket where it lay sprawled over the chair and pulled it around her shoulders. He looked into her eyes with concern before releasing the blanket and stepping back.

"I've been getting little gifts since the ball. I assumed they were from you. When did you send the letter?"

"I left it on your desk," Alex said, looking away. "After you were released." Perhaps he'd been cowardly but he hadn't wanted to see her right then, right after she was released from the hospital. He wasn't sure of his feelings, of hers. She had never wanted to see him again and then--that kiss was one of desperation perhaps, of fear that she would die. He was torn. And then she hadn't responded to his letter, or spoke of it or the kiss. It had been awkward at Max's bedside. He had figured she had regretted it and wanted to give her space. Give himself space. One thing he did know was that finding her in that house had terrified him. That had been when he'd known it was love.

"Are you sure you're safe?" He asked, fist clenching on his thigh as he stopped himself from reaching out and touching her.

[Elle Callahan]

"I didn't get any letter. Just the card.If you didn't send the note then who the hell did? Because I sure in hell haven't been dating anyone but you." Elle said taking the glass from him. "So you didn't send the chocolates, the flowers, the herbs, jars nothing?"

Elle stared at Alex willing him to fess up but he remained silent. He looked worriedly at her as he wrapped a blanket around her. Elle's heart skipped a beat at the thoughtful gesture and she fought the urge to just curl up in his warm embrace and bury her face in his chest. He stepped back though releasing the blanket and Elle just stood there watching him.

"I've been getting little gifts since the ball. I assumed they were from you. When did you send the letter?"

"I left it on your desk," Alex said, looking away. "After you were released."

"There was no letter on my desk. There was a chocolate bar. But I take it that wasn't from you. You didn't get the note that we needed to talk did you?" Elle said fear making her voice high. Something seriously wrong was happening. Someone was going in her office. Her office mate wouldn't have taken a letter off her desk.

"I put the note saying we needed to talk in the out going mail box on my desk the day after the kiss. I was in a hurry and didn't post it myself since I don't own an owl." Elle said as she wrapped the blanket tighter around her.

"Are you sure you're safe?"

"No." She admitted honestly, fear in her voice. She didn't feel safe at all. "Do you think this has something to do with the attacks in the hospital?" Something was seriously going on with the security at St. Mungos. First the killings, Max's attack and now someone stealing her mail.

[Alecsander]

"There was no letter on my desk. There was a chocolate bar. But I take it that wasn't from you. You didn't get the note that we needed to talk did you? I put the note saying we needed to talk in the out going mail box on my desk the day after the kiss. I was in a hurry and didn't post it myself since I don't own an owl." Elle said as she wrapped the blanket tighter around her.

Alex found himself sitting down rather quickly into the big armchair he'd,been drinking in before Elle had shown up. He'd been using the scotch to relax, to try and take his mind off the problems he'd been facing, and this one had practically fallen into his lap. He poured the last of the bottle into his glass, taking a long sip but not finishing it off. He watched Elle with concern, determined to keep his hands to himself. They were over, she'd made that clear and he had crossed the line earlier when he'd touched her.

"Are you sure you're safe?"

"No." She admitted honestly, fear in her voice. She didn't feel safe at all. "Do you think this has something to do with the attacks in the hospital?"

He wanted to hold her, to protect Elle and keep her safe. The fear in her voice was like a knife.

"I--" he considered. "It could be, but I dont think its likely. I think you have a stalker."

[Elle Callahan]

Are you sure you're safe?"

"No." She admitted honestly, fear in her voice. She didn't feel safe at all. "Do you think this has something to do with the attacks in the hospital?"

He wanted to hold her, to protect Elle and keep her safe. The fear in her voice was like a knife.

"I--" he considered. "It could be, but I dont think its likely. I think you have a stalker."

A stalker? Why would someone want to stalk her? Who would do such a thing? Elle closed her eyes and gulped the rest of her scotch in one breath. She put the glass down with shaking fingers. She couldn't contradict Alex. All the signs were there. The flowers at her door step. The feeling of being watched. The strange trinkets. She had a stalker. Was it Sheila out for revenge? But the little trinkets and notes felt like some who was obsessed with her and not obsessed with getting her away from Alex.

Elle was suddenly tired, cold and terrified. The stalker knew where she lived where she worked. Had the ability to follow her for weeks and she had no clue. What did the stalker want? To my love. The stalker thought he was in love with her. That didn't seem to be a good thing to Elle.

"This is crazy," Elle said freaking out about the idea of a stranger loving her. "How do I get rid of a stalker?" Elle said her eyes widening with panic. All she wanted was to live her life. Repair things with Alex. He hadn't been avoiding her after all. He had tried to reach out to her after the kiss. Did that mean he wanted to try again?

"What did you say in that letter?" Elle asked stepping closer to him to see better into his eyes.

[Alecsander]

"This is crazy," Elle said freaking out about the idea of a stranger loving her. "How do I get rid of a stalker?"

In his experience it was usually death or jail. He didn't say that, not wanting to terrify her further. She gulped her scotch and Alex poured another from a new bottle. Suddenly she needed this more than he did.

"What did you say in that letter?" Elle asked stepping closer to him to see better into his eyes.

Merlin give him patience. She wasn't making this easy for him. He closed his eyes and thought back, opening them as he began to speak. He met her eyes but his hands fiddled with each other unconciously.

"I messed up, and its huge. I tried to do my best but I madd mistakes." that certainly was a running theme. One such mistake had cost him his voice, "i know I can't expect forgiveness from you. I wanted to be able to tell you again how sorry I am. I want you to know gnash matter what, I still care for you deelly." he stopped and took a breath, "i thought you wanted your space, I took you're silence to be your reply. I'm sorry, i should have reached out again."

[Elle Callahan]

Elle ignored the refilled glass. She felt a bit tipsy with only one drink. She hadn't eaten since that morning and she wanted her wits about her when she had the much needed conversation with Alex. He was drunk enough for the both of them.

"I messed up, and its huge. I tried to do my best but I madd mistakes." that certainly was a running theme. One such mistake had cost him his voice, "i know I can't expect forgiveness from you. I wanted to be able to tell you again how sorry I am. I want you to know gnash matter what, I still care for you deelly." he stopped and took a breath, "i thought you wanted your space, I took you're silence to be your reply. I'm sorry, i should have reached out again."

"I understand why you didn't. I mean I kissed you after saying it was over and then when you reached out I didn't reply." Elle said sitting down on the edge of Alex's arm chair. She wanted to be close for him for the rest of the conversation.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking since the earthquake and Max's attack. What you did with keeping Cain's death a secret and then not telling me about Jamie it hurt a lot. I might have overreacted about you keeping Jamie a secret. You didn't mean to lie. You were protecting him and I get that. We only dated for a month since the Flux and you never told anyone. Why should I demand that you tell me your deepest darkest secret when we're still getting to know each other?" Elle said with a wry smile.

"What I'm trying to say is that I love you too. I've been half in love with you for years. I don't want to waste that. Who knows either or both of us might be dead. I don't want to have any regrets. Do you want to give this another shot?" Elle said biting her lip as she waited for his answer. Should she have waited? Done this another night?

[Alecsander]

"I understand why you didn't. I mean I kissed you after saying it was over and then when you reached out I didn't reply."

Alex released a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding, reaching over to hold her hand. It was so small and delicate, but she had callouses where it counted. Earned from her time healing.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking since the earthquake and Max's attack. What you did with keeping Cain's death a secret and then not telling me about Jamie it hurt a lot. I might have overreacted about you keeping Jamie a secret. You didn't mean to lie. You were protecting him and I get that. We only dated for a month since the Flux and you never told anyone. Why should I demand that you tell me your deepest darkest secret when we're still getting to know each other?"

There it was again, that newly familiar skipped beat. He looked at her with her newly grey streaked hair and let himself wonder. If Elle hadn't disappeared, if they had dated longer, more seriously. What would have happened? He was starting to realize she would have been the one, the only person he would have told his secret to. What would her reaction had been then?

"What I'm trying to say is that I love you too. I've been half in love with you for years. I don't want to waste that. Who knows either or both of us might be dead. I don't want to have any regrets. Do you want to give this another shot?"

He reached over, touching those curls again. She was right, they could both easily die tomorrow. He already regretted being oblivious enough when he was younger to miss her and what could have been the first time. Instead of answering in words he leaned in and kissed her. After they pulled apart he smiled. "I couldn't want anything more."

[Elle Callahan]

"What I'm trying to say is that I love you too. I've been half in love with you for years. I don't want to waste that. Who knows either or both of us might be dead. I don't want to have any regrets. Do you want to give this another shot?" Elle said biting her lip as she laid her heart bare. What if he didn't want to try again? Were things to damaged? Were there too many obstacles? What would life had been life if she hadn't disappeared? Would they have fallen in love? Would they have taken those few dates and started a life together?

Elle stared up at Alex clutching his larger hand as she waited for his response. Her breath caught as he leaned in kissing her. Elle slid from the edge of the arm chair on to Alex's lap, straddling him.

After they pulled apart he smiled. "I couldn't want anything more."

Elle's heart skipped a beat. He wanted her. Elle framed his face in her hands, staring into his eyes, her expression serious. "Good because I want you. I want what ever future we can have. I don't care about the age difference. Or the scars. All I care about is you. I want a life full of laughter and more children. I don't need to have them but I want them if you do..." Elle said laying it all out there. Elle slid her hands down his cheeks to rest on his heart.

[Alecsander]

Alex framed her waist with one hand, looking down at her as his other hand rested in her curls, his thumb tracing her cheek. He felt as though if he blinked it might all be a dream.

Elle's heart skipped a beat. He wanted her. Elle framed his face in her hands, staring into his eyes, her expression serious. "Good because I want you. I want what ever future we can have. I don't care about the age difference. Or the scars. All I care about is you. I want a life full of laughter and more children. I don't need to have them but I want them if you do..."

He lifted a hand to cover both hers on his chest. How did she pinpoint all his insecurities? He traced a silver curl, it was a,fetching look, he had to admit, but ilhe,would have rathered she had grown into it naturally. "I want you, Elle, thats all I know. I havent ever had to plan for a future... I dont knos what else i may whant yet. " He frowned slightly, remembering her earlierwords.

"Do you really believe that Ellem, that i could think of you so horribly?" where had she gotten such horrible words, much less ascribed them to him?