Time to Go [Max]

[Rowena Jones]

Mornings had always been Rowena's favourite time of the day. There was something so comforting about the first rays of light spilling through the cracks in the curtains, the promise of a whole new day. And as she woke up, she would begin to hear signs of life, the familiar sounds of cars driving by, front doors opening and closing as her neighbours left for work, the chirping melody of the birds in the trees that lined the street, and it would never fail to bring a smile to her face.

A few months ago, she would have woken up and spent a few minutes stroking her cats, who were regular companions in the overly large bed for one person, before getting ready for the day. A morning shower to remove the last vestiges of sleep and attempt to tame her unruly hair always made worse during the night, and then getting dressed and making her way downstairs. She didn't like to waste time in her room in the morning, found that she was less productive if she lazed around for too long, instead preferring to move to the sitting room to truly enjoy the morning light. Breakfast was usually sparse, she was a terrible cook so usually settled for coffee and cereal though would admit to often splurging on croissants and pain au chocolat to satisfy her sweet tooth.

But in the end, it had taken less time than she'd have thought to change that routine. And Rowena knew that her new favourite thing about mornings was the person she shared them with. Now she found herself spending a few extra moments as the sun rose looking at Max, trying to memorise the way his hair was mussed up from sleep, the way his eyes would begin to twitch as he returned to consciousness, the soft curve of his lips as he smiled, knowing that she was watching him without even looking.

In the space of just a few months, everything had changed for Rowena, and yet, as bright emerald eyes met amber ones, she knew there was very little she would change. Everything had led her to this point, with Max, and her heart was so full of love for the man lying beside her in her bed. Today though, for a short while, it would be back to mornings spent alone as her boyfriend left for Siberia. Rowena was excited for him and so so happy that this trip could possibly, finally, give him answers he'd been searching for for years, but she'd be lying if she said there wasn't a teeny tiny part of her that wished he didn't have to go.

She was going to miss this new routine that they'd fallen into so easily. Waking up beside him, usually curled into his warmth, his arm draped gently over her waist. The first soft, slightly raspy words spoken to each other, sweet nothings of good morning, did you sleep well, I love you... The teasing glances shared between them as bodies pressed against each other, soft kisses becoming fiercer as the passion between them burned brightly. The getting ready together, moments spent admiring her boyfriend's nakedness as he moved around her room, before they went downstairs and he made breakfast while she was in charge of the coffee.

This morning felt different though. There was a heaviness in the air, the knowledge that this would the last time for a few days and perhaps all of Max's fears, all the worry she knew he'd been feeling finally registering in her mind. What if he was right? Rowena pushed those thoughts away. He had to go, couldn't risk missing this one opportunity he had. Instead she leaned towards Max to kiss him in both greeting and in an attempt to chase away the moment of goodbye for a little longer. She would be going with him to the Ministry, to put off goodbye until the last moment, but she knew that as soon as they leave the bed, the process would begin and his departure would come too quickly.

[Max Kameren]

Today, Max Kameren would step off into the abyss. He’d been asking questions for half his life, and now he was finally in reach of someone who knew. One way or another, Max’s life would change after today: either he would get his answers or they would be unattainable. The last few weeks had been spent preparing, filling out paperwork at the Ministry to plan his trip and finding as much information as he could. But now, on the morning he was to leave, he didn’t feel ready.

Things were still too ambiguous in his world in London. It had been weeks since his attack and he’d healed up nicely, but the cannibal’s threat still loomed over him: She’s next. Rowena didn’t take the thread as seriously but Max’s stomach dropped with dread whenever he thought about leaving her side. The Shadowloved had circled them closer and closer with each attack. They’d done what they could to prepare, warding and hiding away Rowena’s home and keeping in touch with the Watch to keep an eye on her. They had Max’s two-way mirrors and agreed to speak at least twice a day. It still didn’t feel like enough. He still wouldn’t be here.

Anticipation for his voyage and his usual nightmares woke Max hours before but he stayed still, afraid if he moved it meant his exciting, dreaded day would begin all the sooner. He wasn’t ready yet to leave the safe space of Rowena’s bed, the sleep-warm flesh of her chest pressing against his with each dreamy breath. This was the one place no one could intrude, where it was just the two of them. He would miss her warmth dearly in cold Siberia. He nuzzled the top of her head and focused into her aura, trying to soak up as much of her as he could before they officially woke up and had to part.

Max’s stirring woke Rowena and he felt her aura perk into consciousness, smiling drowsily as he felt her eyes on him. He opened his eyes and emerald met amber in the small space between them but Max didn’t speak, afraid to break the silent spell and return back to their reality. The morning light in Rowena’s room always left everything a dim and dreamy purple, but his love seemed to burst in gold with her aura. She rolled closer to kiss him and he wrapped his other arm around beneath her and pulled her closer, his pressure letting their kiss linger longer. No, he wasn’t ready to leave this feeling behind, not without a last goodbye. He opened his mind up to her so their auras burned into each other and their kisses intensified as Max took Rowena into his embrace.

When they were satisfied they lay tangled in a drowsy daze. He nudged Rowena’s head with his own and sighed, happy with how perfectly her head fit against his chest and how easily his arm wrapped beneath her around her waist. He nuzzled into her hair and smiled to himself, closing his eyes to take in the last quiet moment they had together before he broke their silence:

“You’re sure you don’t want to come?”

[Rowena Jones]

As it was wont to do in the privacy of the early morning, one kiss quickly became more, an invitation to further pleasure and Rowena readily agreed. She would never have enough of the feel of Max's hands running over her body, the way it made her skin tingle and every nerve come alive, nor the way they moved together so perfectly, reaching that place that made her back arch and everything stop as hands grasped and twisted the sheets in pure bliss.

It was soft, fierce, hot, intense, overpowering, almost unbearable. And Rowena wanted it forever. She wanted forever with Max. Years of waking up like this, of watching his face age slowly, sharing their lives and loving him more and more deeply every day. Being with him made everything better.

She felt him nuzzling into her and pressed herself closer, enjoying the peace of the moment after, sated, happy, together. But as it had to do, the moment ended. She felt the rumble in his chest as Max spoke, breaking the quiet of the morning.

“You’re sure you don’t want to come?”

Rowena giggled, partly breaking their impossibly close contact to lean back and look at him. "I'm pretty sure I just did," she pointed out with a cheeky grin before turning serious, "You know I want to. We just agreed that it was better I don't." She reached up for a quick kiss, before rolling away completely and sitting up on the edge of the bed.

She stretched, closing her eyes for a second and enjoying that one moment of the sun on her bare skin before getting up. Rowena padded around the large bed towards the bathroom, glancing back at her boyfriend with a small, suggestive smile. No, forever wouldn't even be enough for her to get her fill of Max Kameren. She turned on the shower, letting the too hot water wash away the twinge of sadness she felt at his imminent departure. She would at least enjoy the last moments between them. She could mope after he'd gone. The smell of mangoes filled the room as she poured the soap into her hands and wondered if Max also struggled to ever get enough of her.

[Max Kameren]

No, there was no way he could leave this behind. Max sighed happily, trying to use the post-coital daze to calm his anxiety over leaving Rowena behind. Just the thought made his spirits sink with longing. How could he leave, knowing what still waited in the shadows? “You’re sure you don’t want to come?”

Rowena giggled. "I'm pretty sure I just did."

Her unexpected joke jolted Max back awake and his laugh turned into a groan as he nudged her with his shoulder. He shook his head with a wry grin and kissed her, the smile still drawing his lips thin a he pulled away. “I take it back, you can’t come. Not after that.”

"You know I want to. We just agreed that it was better I don't."

Max sighed in resignation and leaned into her kiss. She was right, as usual; from the description Varvara’s housekeeper had given him it sounded like just Max might be an undue burden on the 112-year-old empath, let alone another person who couldn’t regulate their aura the same way. Varvara was the gateway to the other living empaths: max needed to do whatever he could to please her and soak up as much of her information as he could.

Cold crept in from duvet-covered cocoon as Rowena rolled away from him and Max felt the first faint pang of missing her even just from the other side of the bed. Something about the anticipation of an absence made every small moment leading up to it feel significant. As Rowena stretched Max turned on his side and observed her, watching the muscles of her back ripple with movement beneath her smooth skin in the pale morning light. He wanted to etch this morning into his memory for posterity; for some reason it all felt so final.

Rowena pushed herself up and padded to the bathroom and Max resigned himself to his fate, throwing off the duvet and rolling off the bed. He located his clothes for the trip folded neatly on top of his duffle bag in the corner of the room, packed for the journey. Inside were clothes packed tentatively for a week, notebooks and pencils for his discussions with the elder empath, books from the Kameren library to continue reading about their troubles at home, and his desperately important two-way mirror. His phone would be unreliable abroad: the mirror was the only way he could speak to Rowena wherever, whenever.

The familiar and alluring scent of mangoes confronted Max’s senses when he entered the humid threshold of the bathroom, brushing his teeth and trying to comb his thick unruly hair into some semblance of an acceptable shape. With a cheeky grin he pivoted on his way out the door, instead poking his head around the shower curtain to steal a kiss from his naked girlfriend before he headed downstairs with his duffel in tow.

Toast and hazelnut spread would have to do this morning. With their more physical activities taking up more of the morning Max was running late, leaving no time for a proper English breakfast before he shipped off to Siberia. It was quick and the spread was close enough to chocolate that he knew it would please his girlfriend at the least. He threw the first two slices into the toaster as the cats circled his feet begging for their own breakfast, glancing over his shoulder as he felt Rowena’s familiar aura come up behind him.

“Running a bit late now, sorry. Port key’ll be waiting for me when we arrive.” He smiled over his shoulder, trying to sound nonchalant. Like this was just another day. Everything was fine. She would be safe here. She would be fine.

[Rowena Jones]

She had just finished rinsing her hair when Max's face peeked through the shower curtain. She grinned leaning in for his quick kiss. "I'll be down in 5," she promised, knowing the cats would assault him if he was in the kitchen too long without the getting fed.

Rowena quickly finished up in the bathroom, threw on the clothes she'd picked out the night before and tied her still damp hair up in a messy bun, before following her boyfriend. Pumpkin and Spice were circling Max as she'd known they would be and she giggled at the sight of Max trying to make breakfast while they weaved around his legs.

“Running a bit late now, sorry. Port key’ll be waiting for me when we arrive.”

There it was. Strange to think that very soon he'd be so very far away from her. She forced a smile to her face in acknowledgment, turning on the coffee machine while he made the toast before dealing with the other hungry beings in the room. They almost tripped her up on her way to the small room off the kitchen that she used as a mixture of wine cellar, pantry and general kitchen storage and she glared at them. Not for the first time she wished they were kittens again. They'd been big then but manageable. Now it was much harder to keep them at bay while she tried to sort their food out. Years of practice finally paid off though and she left them to their breakfast while she rejoined Max in the kitchen. 

She poured their drinks and took a slice of toast, her face lighting up as the taste of hazlenut filled her mouth. She loved that he knew the little things that would make her happy, that he paid attention to all those small details. Of course that also meant he could frustrate the hell out of her, she thought rolling her eyes as she spotted yet another book in the wrong place. Who knew, maybe with a week to herself she'd finally be able to make sure her library was all in the correct order? Rowena knew though, that she'd rather have him messing up her entire organisational system than be apart from him. The thought had her glancing up and watching him. He was already too far away, but at least for the next few moments she could fix that still. 

The witch stood from her seat at the counter and moved towards Max, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on him. "I know it's stupid, but I'm going to miss you," she said quietly, a little embarrassed at the admission. It was only a week. It wasn't like this was goodbye forever. He'd be back before she knew it. But it was a goodbye for now and Rowena really didn't like it. She took a deep breath and pulled back. "You sure you have everything? The mirror?"

[Max Kameren]

“Running a bit late now, sorry. Port key’ll be waiting for me when we arrive.”

The couple moved in their usual route that had become habit in the last couple weeks of their post-Mungo’s existence, moving around the kitchen to prepare breakfast together in an elaborate dance. He would miss their routine while he was gone. It was all the small things he would miss most, the small details of their life together. It was only a week, but without Rowena that felt like an eternity away from the feeling of her aura and the thought had him already longing for her.

The first batch of toast went to his girlfriend as they exchanged coffee for toast in a circle. He popped in another two pieces of toast and took a sip of his coffee, turning around to lean against the counter and meet Rowena’s watchful gaze. He smiled and sipped his coffee, enjoying the contented harmony of their auras humming together in his sixth sense. Again the feeling of dread rushed through him and he tried to tamp it down; he was going, and that was that. In fact they needed to leave soon, he mused as he checked his watch. He was running late and his journey today didn’t just end with the portkey.

"I know it's stupid, but I'm going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” He smiled affectionately at his girlfriend as the toast popped up and he grabbed it, quickly preparing it for himself and turning to lean against the countertop across from where Rowena sat. They’d been nigh inseparable since their fight; being away from Rowena would be like missing a sliver of himself. The sliver that made him happy, the part the kept him sane in the wake of everything they’d been through over the last few months.

"You sure you have everything? The mirror?"

Max rolled his eyes as he took a bite of his toast. She’d watched him pack, critiquing his duffel bag organization style throughout the process. He’d double-and-triple-checked everything to be very sure he was ready, especially the mirror. The portkey was a one-time spell. He couldn’t afford to leave anything behind. “Yes dear, I’m sure.”

He finished his toast and washed it down with his last splash of coffee, leaning down to pet a begging Spice while he hitched his duffel over his shoulder. He smiled up at Rowena with an arched brow, a sheepish excitement in his eyes. Though he was nervous for what home life he would return to in the wake of the Shadowloved, he was still very excited to go. This week he would have conversations he had been waiting half his life for. “Ready to go?”

No, they weren’t. But the time had come. With her confirmation he stood and wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her close. He didn't need to to apparate, but it was one of his last chances to wrap his arms around his girlfriend for a week and he was definitely going to take it. With a wry grin he turned on his heel and with a quiet pop! they appeared in the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic. His hands fell to his sides, catching Rowena's hand in his as they followed the flow of the crowd to the lifts. He squeezed Rowena's hand anxiously as they entered a crowded lift and pressed Level Six, leaning into her slightly for stability as the lift lurched into motion.

[Rowena Jones]

“Yes dear, I’m sure.”

Rowena huffed. He didn't have to be sarcastic about it. She just wanted to make sure everything was perfect for the trip that could change so much. Speaking of, they really were going to be late. Max apparently had the same thought, finishing his breakfast before glancing up at her.

“Ready to go?”

"Yes,"

No. Never. Don't go. Urgh. She wanted to slap herself. He had to go. She was being ridiculous. One week and then they'd be together again. This emotion was foolish. Max was about to get the answers he'd waited most of his life for. She refused to get in the way of that. Enough. Rowena grabbed a small bag with her wand, phone and other necessities before turning into Max's embrace. She breathed deep, committing the smell that was so uniquely his to memory. 

And then they weren't at home anymore but in the busy crowds of the Ministry, and she clung to his hand as he led her to the lifts. Neither of them particularly loved the being inside these metal boxes anymore and Rowena couldn't find any words to say so she settled for silence, letting her aura do the speaking. She'd once despised his powers, how it gave him such advantage, and then she'd truly learned to know him. And begin to understand him and his Empathy. And though she knew it was not easy for him, she was thankful in these moments that she didn't need to speak. That he could understand the entirety of her feelings without her speaking a word. She loved him so much and as they finally exited the metal death trap and walked towards where his portkey and departure awaited, she paused.

"Wait, I almost forgot. I have something for you. It's not much, but, well it always makes me feel better and warms me up when it's cold...and you're going to Siberia so it's going to be cold... so I.." she shook her head, taking the Honeydukes chocolate from her bag and passing it to her boyfriend. 

[Max Kameren]

Even now, weeks after Max’s attack and with his body mostly healed he still experienced a sense of dread whenever he entered a lift. Lately they rarely brought him to anything good, only pain and loss and more suffering. He huddled in closer to Rowena and ducked his head to try to push the other passengers’ auras out of his mind. Hopefully this time would be different. Hopefully this time, at the end of this journey all he would lose is inexperience.

Then Rowena’s aura pulsed into his and he felt safe. She felt golden and sweet, like the first breath in on a crisp autumn day. She was frustrating and freeing, an endless puzzle he never tired of ciphering. The sound of her sigh was warm and reassuring, a soft reminder that she was there and she was supporting him. She was his comfort, the foundation he’d laid his consciousness on since his attack to stay calm in the face of terror. She was everything, absolutely everything.

Max slouched to rest his cheek on the top of Rowena’s head in acknowledgement of her questioning aura, closing his eyes and breathing in the fruity, earthy scent of her hair one last time before he left. The dread in his stomach hardened into an impenetrable ball; he didn’t believe she was safe, not in his heart. He didn’t want to go.

Then the lift doors opened and they dutifully filed out and their last moments together were moving far too quickly for Max. They stood opposite each other in the corridor in awkward silence, both shuffling and unwilling to be first to end their final interaction for a week. There was nothing Max could say to stop this from happening. There wasn’t an explanation he could give her that he hadn’t already given her a hundred times over the last few weeks bartering her safety. He was at the end of his rope: he’d done all he could, but it was time to let go and all his gut was telling him was to cling to her as long as he could. He met her eyes with a wavering nervousness, unsure what to say. He was quietly thankful when she spoke up instead.

"Wait, I almost forgot. I have something for you. It's not much, but, well it always makes me feel better and warms me up when it's cold...and you're going to Siberia so it's going to be cold... so I.." she shook her head, dropping a small plastic-wrapped bag of Honeyduke’s chocolates into the palm of his hand.

His heart melted. This was so quintessentially Rowena Covington. Max didn’t much care for chocolate. The texture was like eating sugary soap; it was a thick chalk that tasted like sugar and left an unpleasant coating on his tongue. But it was a part of his girlfriend, her favorite food and something she took comfort in. It was a small piece of Rowena that he could carry in his pocket.

With a slow smile he placed it there and hitched his duffel up on his shoulder so he could envelop his girlfriend into a strong embrace. He bent to nestle his head in the crook of her neck. “Be careful for me, alright? I need you.” He mumbled into her ear as he pulled away to meet her eyes with a smile. “I love you.”

[Rowena Jones]

Max bent to nestle his head in the crook of her neck and Rowena savoured the final moments contact. “Be careful for me, alright? I need you.” He mumbled into her ear as he pulled away to meet her eyes with a smile. “I love you.”

Rowena rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. She wasn't the one who had ventured into the Catacombs alone and almost died. She wasn't the one with a mad cannibal threatening to finish the job. But she didn't say any of this. "I love you too. Stay warm ok? And safe." With all his worry about her, she'd barely had a second to worry about him. Really, he'd got it all wrong. He was the one going into the relative unknown. She was just sticking around back home, with her cats and books for company. What could happen? Especially now that the house was under the Fidelius.

She wasn't big on public affection, especially in the Ministry, but she also wasn't a huge fan of Max leaving for a week, so she reached up to kiss him quickly one last time before stepping back. "I'll speak to you soon," she said with a smile. It was only a week. And she'd be waiting for him when he got back. Maybe not like in the movies with some fancy dinner or reunion all set up, but hopefully, she'd have more answers.